I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
