Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
