How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
