Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
