Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
