that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
