i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
