im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
