2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
