I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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