Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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