Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
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I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
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Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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