and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
