planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
