Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
