Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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