talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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