I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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