When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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