that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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