Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
