i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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