I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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