She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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