absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
