UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
