The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
