Are we in a gay sports bar?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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