But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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