It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
