I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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