There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
