Already got asked if we're dating
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
