I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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