Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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