ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
