absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
