I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
