Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
