I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize