this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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