You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
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My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
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Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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