so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
