I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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