I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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