Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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