My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
