I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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