awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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