My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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