Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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