I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
