Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
