i don't plan on having that self control this summer
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
