i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
