so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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