Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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