thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize