That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
How external is "for external use only"?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
