Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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