the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
