I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
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maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
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Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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