i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
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I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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