I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
