I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize